Day # 4, 5, 6…

 For the most part, good. Although we DID break down and have some solid food on the weekend.


Saturday Morning we went to Genies in SE Portland with some friends. Donna had a SMALL serving of scrambles eggs and bacon, ate about half if it. It was all good and was exactly what she was craving. I wasn’t so lucky…


I asked, simply, for steak and eggs. No go – the only steak/egg combo they offered was chicken fried steak. Not going to happen. So I saw on a wall menu something that I could say was still healthy: a garlic shrimp omelet . Ooooooh! They just sold out. Frustrated, I grabbed my coffee and said ‘this is fine.’


However, after my friends ordered I pipped back up and ordered a hamburger, no bun, with salad on the side. That, at least, they had. It was good and I ate half of it, taking the other half home, but was still craving red meat. No matter. Breakfast was done and that was all I was going to eat that day.


The next morning, another friend and we went to Café Du Berry for breakfast. Donna, again, ordered a single egg and toast. This time I was determined to get the steak n eggs, even if it was the sliced peppercorn steak. When I ordered, the waiter looked as though he was about to say “I’m sorry” – as the words started to leave his lips I heard myself say “Don’t even try to tell me that.” I have to admit, we were both taken aback, so I tried to add some humor with “I don’t care if you have to go slaughter a cow.”


However, it didn’t come out as funny as I had planned. In the end, I got my steak and eggs and, again, ate half and took half home. A good day al around.


Today, Monday, I have noticed something odd going on with me. My patience and tolerance is slipping. Low blood sugar or something, I am not sure, but I wanted to kill something or someone earlier. Donna encouraged me to go get something to eat and I felt bad about doing so, but did; a small lunch of cooked chicken and rice.  In retrospect, I should have avoided the rice and definitely will do so in the future. My stomach is a little on the hurting side. That God that will be the ONLY food I eat today. Tomorrow I’ll find a way to adhere to the shakes a little more strictly.


I know Donna gave me permission and all that, but I still feel like I fell off the wagon, even though I didn’t gorge myself. I did weigh in at 250 this morning, so that’s something. Looking forward to hitting the gym tonight and working off some of this lunch. I only hope we’ll still feel like it after 10 hours of work >.<


So 255 – 250… 5 pounds in 5 days. I can’t say that’s too bad but I would like to have seen slightly faster results. I guess I can’t really complain seeing as I ate solids. Back to work, I guess…

Day #3, pt 2

12:45 PM

Okay, just came back from the clinic and my “stress test” – a brief cardio/EKG test on a treadmill. What they tell you is that you will begin slow and flat, with the speed and incline increasing slightly every 3 minutes. What they DON’T tell you is there is no end to this test until you cry uncle!!


I am out of shape and need to work on my cardio, this is a fact and I am making efforts towards that goal. However, and much to my pleasure, an overweight 38 year old male lasting 11 minutes was “respectable”, according to the nurse. I’ll take it at face value and be happy.


As I feared, I got a few hunger pangs after the test (and am feeling them now). I am on my 30g protein chocolate drink “lunch” and am hoping the hunger subsides. If not, it’s water, water, water and a LOT of trips to the bathroom. Again.


I am looking forward to the weigh in next week and, at the same time, timid. What if I am not working out enough? Where does that extra protein go? Will my body convert it to fat or…? I really have no idea. I guess I should look it up… when I am not working. >.<


So, I am a tax collector for the City. As April 15th, one of our most aggressive periods of tax season, with tens of thousands of reports coming in, we have been advised by our sweet, dear Mayor that he wants the money in no later than April 28th.


Excuse me a moment… LMFAOIRL!


In his overzealous efforts he will, undoubtedly, get his wish as we are already making unpleasant plans to ensure it happens. $64 million. That’s our goal… we can make it, but in 13 days? Scratch that, 13 CALENDAR DAYS?


Oi… no wonder I had to go in for a stress test.

Day #3

Oddly enough, I didn’t wake up hungry. Took a nice hot shower, shaved and got dressed, then found out Donna (Plumeriastar) was feeling nauseous. So much so she could to come in to work today. We don’t think it’s the diet but she does take a variety of medication and I wonder if being on a liquid diet is causing the medicines to upset her stomach. I don’t remember the doctors warning against that so I guess we’ll wait and see.


As for me, made a shake this morning (strawberry) and packed my lunch of 1 protein drink and my daily supplements. It’s currently about a quarter to 11 in the morning and still no serious hunger. I have a stress test at the clinic at 11.15 this morning, getting on a treadmill for about 15 minutes, and am a little concerned that the calorie burn will increase my hunger. I guess we’ll wait and see.


3 days without solid food. So far not too bad. I hope it holds. I’ll post back later today if the mood changes.



So… it’s day #2, about 1.30 PM.


I’ve been feeling more hungry than yesterday… only slightly, but enough to make it increasingly difficult to make it through the day without thinking of food. I went to bed feeling slightly hungry and woke up about the same. After my morning shake (28g protein) I was fine and have been sipping on my chocolate protein drink (30g of protein). I have a feeling it will get worse before it gets better, but WILL get better.


Crankiness… ya, I’m there. With my wife and my coworkers (and clients) but am trying to hide it as best as I can from the public eye… which means Donna gets the brunt of it. ~sigh~ Not ideal and hopefully it will pass soon. I have heard that after 3-4 days it gets better, a little easier… I guess we’ll see.


No weight in today as I don’t want to discourage myself, not that I would expect to drop anything in 24 hours. I’ve cut out soda as well and have been craving that badly too. The problem is, I’ve been meaning to cut soda out for sometime as the carbonation gives me a pregnant belly. It may be attractive on some women but I can assure you, it has an entirely opposite effect when on a man. I am trying to look at this experiment as a detox of sorts, from certain foods and drinks in an effort to kick the habit. I’ve never really been addicted to anything in my life and when I smoked, I was able to quit cold turkey pretty easily so I am hoping this too shall pass.


Going to the gym tonight. Actually looking forward to that. Hopefully I don’t have to jokey to use the elliptical or other equipment. Nothing will discourage me from going to the community center like having to wait to punish myself. I’d rather get it out of the way as quickly as possible. I’ll take along one more protein drink, a apple melon green elixir from Isopure – 40g protein. The stuff is funky… it has chunks (yes, chunks) of protein in it, making you shake it before you drink it. I don’t want to tell you what it looks like but I think all men can hold up the bottle and get the same, exact image in his mind. After all, isn’t it ALL protein-based? With that thought in my head, I have to drink it. Mmmm. At least it’s not coconut or Pina Colada.


So, day #2 almost done and alls well, for the most part. Did I mention that the person in the cubicle next to me cooks at her desk, or that the person in the cubicle next to her eats take out pretty frequently at his desk?


I’d actually kill for a carrot right about now…

Writer's Block: Comebacks

Know any great comebacks?

 I'm sorry. I have BSADD. I can't pay attention to bullshit for more than a few seconds. What were you saying?

Your daddy should have pulled out sooner. (immature, I know)

The best part of you dribbled down your daddy's leg.

Man, it must suck to be you. All your dad wanted was a blowjob.

Ok - that's enough. I'm ashamed of myself now!